“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”– Carl Jung (Psychiatrist)
It was sometime in my late forties, as I recall, that I became conscious of the two negative core beliefs running my life. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I had lived my entire life to that point as though these beliefs were true and unassailable.
Had these two beliefs remained outside my conscious awareness, they would have continued to direct my life in a way completely misaligned with the essence of who I was—and the calling of my soul. And in the words of Carl Jung, I would have simply called it fate.
My core negative beliefs
The two negative beliefs that had become central to my self-concept were: “I’m not smart enough” and “There’s something fundamentally wrong with me.” A corresponding third belief, which amplified the authority and weight of the first two, was “Everyone knows.”
As you can imagine, from this false sense of self, I developed some very limiting ideas about what was and was not possible. From this perspective, I played smaller than I was and I played not to lose. That’s still difficult to admit.
Once I saw these beliefs for what they were, two things happened. First, it felt like a veil was lifted, and I saw myself, my world, my relationships, and my possibilities through new eyes. It felt like I had a new lease on life. The shift was both sudden and dramatic for me, and it also marked the beginning of a healing process.
The second thing that happened was that I was no longer innocent to the effects these beliefs had created in my life—and would continue to create—unless I committed myself to seeing and interrupting my well-worn and habitual way of seeing and being in the world.
As a result of the coaching support I received and my inner work, my story has a happy segue. Thankfully, those beliefs no longer have a grip on me. It doesn’t mean they’re completely gone, as I occasionally find rocks to turn over and examine whether a behavior or way of being is rooted in those core negative beliefs that I once held so tightly. But that’s the work.
Enough about me
I can’t say with certainty that everyone has one or more core negative beliefs to work through, although I have my suspicions. What I can say is that it’s worth a look.
Author Leon VanderPol, in his book A Shift in Being, names some of the more common beliefs humans carry. As you read through the list, notice—without judgment—which, if any, feel familiar. These are stated in the first person, but they may also come through at times as accusations.
I’m not [insert your adjective] enough. I’m defective. I’m not worthy. I’m not important. I’m not lovable. I’m helpless. I don’t belong. I am not safe.
- Do any of the beliefs on this list land particularly close to home for you?
- What’s missing from the list that you would add?
If you’re open to examining your own life further for hidden core negative beliefs, consider the following:
- Schedule at least 10–30 minutes with yourself and by yourself several times per week.
- With a journal in hand, ask yourself the following question, and then listen in silence:
- What is that negative voice in your head telling you about who you are and what you’re capable of?
- If more prompts are needed, think about the last time you made a mistake or didn’t produce the outcome you wanted. What did you hear?
- Notice what possibilities close down for you when any part of you holds these messages as legitimate.
- Share what you’re learning with someone you trust.
I welcome your thoughts, questions, or comments. I can be reached at keith@voyagercoachconsult.com.